Looking for the right script

Hollywood pals and other assorted top-shelf Beautiful People last week threw Gov. Schwarzenegger a lavish "Wrap Party" to commemorate his exit from the top of the State.

It occurred to me that maybe this is what Gov. Schwarzenegger thinks he has done: Wrapped up one more movie role to advance his career, endearing himself once again as the action hero. With the final scene shot, he must think that all the casualties of his time as governor will simply get up off the ground, collect their SAG fees and go home … that craft services will deliver all the leftover tri-tip and veggie-tuna wraps to the Union Gospel Mission … that the carpenters will repaint and patch all the stage sets … and everything will be all better again.

He's not alone to blame. But lawmakers are smart enough never to promise anything beyond running for another office once the offices they hold term out. Schwarzenegger came in promising he'd pull us out of the hole Gray Davis left; instead his gang brought shovels and dug deeper.

We used our power to vote unwisely (or not at all) on the novelty of electing another movie star to high office, and weren't prodding our representative government to represent.

Schwarzenegger as governor never seemed more than a practical joke that he and Jay Leno dreamed up to guarantee at least two blockbuster bookings for his show: When Schwarzenegger threw his hat into the rink seven years ago (was it that long ago?) and this year when he retrieved it. We voters bought into the gag.

Don't be surprised if Schwarzenegger eventually casts about for the role of president. (Remember when we all thought that might be feasible? Just a matter of tweaking the Constitution, and if some conservative cranks think they can fiddle with the Fourteenth Amendment, what could be so hard?) He'll wear this mess as his crown of laurels, spun by well-paid publicity.

(Since I started cartooning during George Deukmejian's administration, Gov. Schwarzenegger is the governor I've drawn the most — by far — and that's without even trying hard. The difference is that many nonpolitical clients —witness the previous post — harnessed the Governator's notoriety. It makes sense: An ad featuring Pete Wilson's featureless caricature won't get you much mileage. )